AMUSE ME IF YOU CAN
LET'S BE FRIENDS!
THINGS I WANNA DO BEFORE I DIE
You will come home. Back to where you once belonged. Back to where it’s comfy and safe and happy. Back to where your heart is.
It’s really hard when you hear something that breaks your heart but you can’t do anything but to just force a smile and pretend that it doesn’t affect you ‘cause the thing is, after all these years, you should have already moved on. But you haven’t. It’s something you still think about everyday because you still have questions in your head that you can’t find answers to. You want answers. But instead you were left in mid-air, waiting for something that wasn’t sure to come. You weren’t always alone, and it wasn’t always this difficult. At some point though, things changed and you got tired of chasing after the things that kept running away; things that you only chased ‘cause you were too afraid to be on your own. Someday, you know you’ll finally be okay. But for now, you are not, and you know you can’t really tell yourself that you are.
Last weekend, I got myself Paulo Coelho’s Like the Flowing River and for the first time in a very long time, I found a book I couldn’t put down. I have this bad habit that when I get my hands on a new book, I’ll just read a few pages and if I don’t find it interesting enough, I will no longer read the whole thing. I was supposed to get a book about Hemingway’s life, but I ended up buying this particular book ‘cause the cover was so nice. Haha. I have stupid reasons for my choices sometimes. It’s a good thing I didn’t regret this one.
At times, you have to choose what is right for you, even if it means someone’s going to get hurt because of your decision. You can’t avoid that. People have different perspectives, different personalities, different wants and you can’t just always let other people meddle with your life because you don’t want conflict. You have to live. And sometimes, living means not thinking about what other people say about you and your decisions, because their opinions should not matter. If it makes you happy, do it. You got to be a little selfish sometimes.